weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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