turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
