I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
