dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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