Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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