ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
