drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
