my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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