respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
