so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
