Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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