Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
