Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
