i may or may not be watching the land before time
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
