Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
