We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You're like the curious george of whores
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You were trust falling into bushes
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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