Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
