Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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