small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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