Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have feelings that need drinking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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