we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
