I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
