therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
