Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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