My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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