k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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