the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
