I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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