Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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