no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
