My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
