Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
