I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
