I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
