Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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