there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
