I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
