I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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