i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
