Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
