four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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