So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
