What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
