BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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