how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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