so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
