We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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