you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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