So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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