Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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