It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
