I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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